I Love You Mom
By Raymond Shipley
Mom. What's more important than a mother? At times of great achievement as well as great distress it is said one cries out for Mom. Before birth she was our connection to life, in childhood a soft comfort in an unknown world and as adults our connection seldom fades. The loss of a parent, and a mother in particular, is to lose a part of childhood, of innocence, of oneself.
The mother-son relationship is integral to developing completely as a man. In 2010 research at the University of Reading showed that children, boys in particular, who lack a strong bond with their mother have more behavioral problems. It is often when sons attempt to divorce themselves from their mother they tend to act out and find trouble. Perhaps it is through the unique bond between mother and son the path back from delinquency is accessible, and despite the tendency to rebel sons with this bond so often transcend this stage while those who do not become lost.
Children who have a strong attachment to parents feel supported and comforted; those who are rejected or receive inconsistent care tend to develop behavioral problems. After looking at 69 studies involving 6,000 children Dr. Pasco Fearon of the School of Psychology and Clinical Language Science at the University of Reading confirmed the validity of this attachment theory.
Despite these findings there still persists the belief too much mothering produces weak boys and men. Although there is no substantial evidence to support this claim, and an abundance supporting the contrary, society still seems to think being a "Momma's boy" is a bad thing. Sons who are close to their mothers tend to become men who treat their wives and daughters with care and respect. For this alone, if no other reason, is reason enough to cultivate the bond between mother and son.
My mom was the most wonderful woman on this earth. Growing up she was always there for us kids, and my memories are replete with her beautiful smile. She came to my baseball games, we decorated the Christmas tree every year, and she even picked me up and dropped me off at school, until I was too cool for that sort of thing. I still remember those nights at home, when the lights were dimmed and my mom would be listening to her oldies, singing without a care in the world. If I close my eyes I can still see the room, smell her smell and hear her voice.
I have never been the perfect son, and in fact made much of my parents' lives absolutely miserable. I was suspended countless times, got horrible grades throughout high school, and had more legal trouble than any respectable person should. But through it all my mom was always there, both supporting me and disapproving of my actions, the way only a mother can. I didn't deserve a woman so special, and in truth she deserved a better son.
She was an extraordinary person throughout her entire life, and before she left I promised to make her proud: of the husband I am, the father and the man. I don't know if I will ever be even half the person she inspired me to be, but she deserves my effort as do my wife and children. I told her I would make her proud and she told me she knew I would. That vote of confidence means more to me than all the material possessions in the world, and I know I will make her proud. I love you Mom.
For you, Mom: your favorite song, and the last full song we listened to during our goodbyes. Love you.